Eccentric billionaire hobby #1 - exotic cheeses

1 minute read


While I am nowhere close to becoming a billionaire, I do occasionally daydream about frivolous scenarios that, in all likelihood, will never happen but are entertaining nonetheless. One scenario I keep returning to is the one where I’m a billionaire. “Regular” billionaires like Bezos and Musk might take trips into outer space, but I’ve decided that my first eccentric billionaire hobby will be to open up an exotic cheese shop.

You might be saying, “Exotic cheese? Aren’t there better ways of spending your money?” Yes, and since this is a fictional scenario, let’s just assume I’ve already funded the research that cured cancer, I’ve already ended child poverty and hunger, and I’ve already fixed whichever tragic cause is closest to your heart. Even after all of that heroic philanthropy, I will still have tons of cash to do dumb shit.

Ok, back to exotic cheese. Have you ever wondered what jaguar cheese tastes like? What about elephant cheese? Dolphin cheese? It’s questions like this that keep me up at night.

Woman: He's probably thinking about other women. Man: I wonder what dolphin cheese tastes like.

This cheese shop will only be possible if the milk from any mammal can be turned into cheese, which may or may not be true. For the sake of this fantasy, let’s assume it is possible.

There are tons of different mammals like giraffes, whales, and wolves, and my shop will have hundreds of different types to try! I’d be willing to bet that a good portion of these cheeses will be absolutely disgusting, but it will certainly be a one-of-a-kind experience.

Now, I have absolutely no idea how to actually procure the milk from endangered/rare/dangerous animals, but I’m sure that a billionaire would be able to make it happen. Who knows, maybe my exotic cheese shop will be so popular that it will spur a movement to protect more animals so that more cheese can be made.

Oh, and if a billionaire somehow reads this and wants to make a dream come true, please reach out 😄

🐵 🐶 🦊 🐻 🐼 🧀